I suspect that most protagonists in books and films are written, at least subconsciously, so as to mirror Jesus. These key characters compel us with their positive virtues and sage wisdom, as they fight to overcome the seemingly insurmountable odds stacked against them in an underdog story. As we read or watch, we are assured that no matter how bleak the circumstances get, our protagonist will always win his battle and emerge the epic hero in the end. (Sounds a lot like Jesus to me. Just sayin…). Clearly, none of these fictional heroes can ever truly compare to Christ. But if I had to choose, I think Adam Sandler comes pretty close.
It’s been years since I’ve seen 50 First Dates, but lately, I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. Besides being one of the few Adam Sandler movies I can actually sit through (although there is something to be said for The Wedding Singer), it sparked a revelation that led me to blog for the first time in a very long time. And that's kind of a big deal...
Allow me to offer the film’s back-story before I launch into dissecting it:
In the movie, Adam Sandler’s sweet and quirky character falls for an equally adorable Drew Barrymore, who’s character is afflicted with permanent short-term memory loss. (The whole situation is a bit less tragic couched in a Comedy). Every 24 hours, her memory sort of “re-sets” itself so that she can’t recall anything after the accident that caused her condition (including the accident itself) several years before. To make life easier for this naturally cheerful girl, her friends and family create a world that actually caters to her amnesia. Day in and day out, they keep up the rouse that it is the day before her accident--all in attempts to avoid her discovering the heartbreak of her past and what it has done to her.
One morning, while enjoying breakfast at her usual diner, in walks Jesus--conveniently disguised as Adam Sandler :) From that first meeting, he is taken with amnesia girl. Although obviously adoring her, as he learns of her condition, he is careful to be sensitive and slow in his pursuit of her. Still, she is freaked out. She claims she doesn’t know him (even when days of friendship turn to months), and thus, is unwilling to trust him. Yet he is determined not only to continue pursuing her, but to pull her free of the delusion that nothing is wrong with her. Despite her family being genuinely convinced that the lies they tell her are for her own good, he takes the risk and discloses the truth of her condition.
Once the initial rush of heartbreak, anger and denial pass, his challenge is to find a way to continually remind her of the truth. Given that Adam Sandler is the Christ-type character here, he (of course) is able to think up a clever solution to keep her remembering him. (So, if I haven’t already given away the entire plot to those who haven‘t seen the film, I’m about to completely spoil it. Its worth it if you’ve made it this far--just be warned!). Each morning he leaves a note for amnesia girl beside her bed, instructing her before she begins her day to watch a home movie he has made specifically for her. The movie is a pictoral reminder of her past, including the accident that caused her to forget everything. (Pan to the girl’s frightened and confused face as the truth of her situation sinks in anew every day). Fortunately, the music gets lighter and the mood happier, when in the same home movie, she is “introduced” to the man who loves her. He goes on to recount a few precious moments of their love story thus far, and reassures her that each day when she wakes up, he will be there.
Ever so charming, Adam Sandler’s character demonstrates the seemingly elusive virtues of kindness, gentleness and patience. Although I certainly get caught up in the cuteness of the whole ordeal, the more I think about it, the more I am shocked at this man‘s love. Can you imagine having a lover who constantly forgets you? Not just someone who fails to pay attention, but one who flat out forgets you exist? To know that the most intimate of moments that you shared together--your treasured memories--mean absolutely nothing to your lover because they don’t even know they occurred. Who would choose to spend their time loving someone like that? Most of us, despite all the romantic feeling in the world, would quickly give up.
Yet, I know firsthand about this kind of love. Not because I expressed it, but because it was given to me. It took me 28 years to realize (or at least admit) that I am amnesia girl.
Without fail, I forget. I repeat the same old mistakes, forgetting the consequences and unhappy events that their existence triggered. I continue to stress out about God’s ability to provide, not taking time to “consider the birds” and my Lover’s far deeper passion for me in comparison to them. Sadly, both situations have occurred within the last 48 hours. With perspective lost, I acted with no memory of the past, for good or bad…
Yesterday, I made a bad decision. Not life-shattering, just a mistake. I knew exactly what I was doing and didn’t think it was “that big of a deal.” Yet, as I followed through on that poor choice, the realization of what I had done immediately smacked me in the face. It was as if in that moment, a haze had lifted and my eyes could clearly see that I received the spitting image result of the very same foolish decision I had made years ago. I literally gasped. How could I have forgotten that? But I did. I was in rationalization mode (which, incidentally, obscures all peripheral vision and hindsight). I could only see what I wanted to see and I forgot everything else. At this revelation, the words poured out of my mouth almost without thought: “God, please help me to remember!”
And I had to remind myself that He heard me. He was listening, because He does care about moments like that. Because He longs for my greatest good. I know this because after repenting of the aforementioned fault, the first thing God did was graciously hand me back a beautiful memory. I didn't deserve it, but He knew that this clear vision was just the remedy I needed...
About a month ago, my family and I were passing through a stressful season. Tensions in our house were high, not so much stemming from each other, but from the collection of worries each of us was holding inside. For a week, we tip-toed on the egg shells of fragile emotions, not even realizing what was happening. It was my sister’s insight when we were driving home one night that led me to see things for what they really were. Upon recognizing our own worry, my family and I, as we’ve become accustomed to doing over the years in times of crisis, stood in the middle of our living room, held hands and cried out to God. The very next day, our overarching fear--the primary subject of our prayers--was answered. Unexpectedly and beautifully. It really was an amazing story. From small groups to Skype calls, I shared this testimony with everyone I could for a week afterwards. That day we saw it clearly: God was good.
A mere few weeks later, it was as though that moment had never happened. Fast forward to this weekend. Another issue arises, bringing with it that familiar tension and confusion. We longed for some perspective, but by-passed the obvious solution day after day. Instead, anxiety became the elephant in the room, as we wondered where God was and why things were happening the way they were. "Spiritual amnesia" (props to Francis Chan for that phrase) had struck with full force. Sure, we had each been seeking God during our individual time with Him, but corporately, we hadn’t seen any significant breakthrough since the last time we fought as a family.
So we did. We surrendered our struggles to the Lord and repented for not seeking Him before. I cried, telling God through tears that I was so sorry for forgetting Him. No amount of logical list-making or determined effort could pull us out of the rut we were in. Only God could transform us and our situation. I just wish I had remembered that sooner.
“Don’t worry about your life,” Jesus tells us over and over in the Gospels. It seems patronizing, but we so desperately need to hear those words. I know I’m not alone in this spiritual amnesia thing. I see it in my friends, my family and those I counsel. The Bible puts it so eloquently as to liken us to dogs returning to their vomit. In my experience, vomit doesn’t “just happen.” It starts because we took in something that was making us sick, and our bodies are deliberately designed so as to rid us of things that will poison us. Our sin, selfishness and screw ups--those are the vomit of life. Do we really need to go back there? Do you really want to smell that again? You can blame the boomerang effect on curiosity, boredom or simple stupidity. But the way I see it, it’s usually about forgetting. Don’t get me wrong: I take personal responsibility for my own decisions. In fact, I know that I am often the primary contributor to my amnesia. Much like Drew Barrymore, my memory of the greater story only lasts a short while. I know exactly where I need to go to hear this story, but sometimes, I fail to show up. Strolling past the note and the home movie in the VCR, I go about my day under the delusion that I understand my life better than the One who loves me most. When confusion strikes due to my skewed perspective, He doesn’t just scold me with an “I told you so.” When I go home, He gently pulls me back to the TV, reminding me of our story and showing me what is real.
I don’t claim to know the origin of our spiritual amnesia, whether it’s simply the result of sin, or if God designed it that way so as we constantly need to go back to Him for memory. What I do know is that while I remember, I will choose to dwell on His character. To remind myself that nothing escapes His notice and that nothing is beyond His ability to redeem.
When I consider God’s rescue of me in such a state of forgetfulness, I can’t help but smile. I begin to recall times when God, in far-cooler-than-Adam Sandler fashion, tells me the tale of us. He quietly points out the parts I never even perceived, and the behind the scenes workings I couldn‘t have possibly known about otherwise. Even more amazingly, in God’s home video, my past falls into the shadows under the light of His undeserving adoration. He loves me, even though I forget Him. Enduringly patient, He faithfully re-counts the story to me again and again.
Today, I can see just how incredible that is. And I know that if I choose to play it, that same video will be waiting to remind me again tomorrow…
It’s been years since I’ve seen 50 First Dates, but lately, I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. Besides being one of the few Adam Sandler movies I can actually sit through (although there is something to be said for The Wedding Singer), it sparked a revelation that led me to blog for the first time in a very long time. And that's kind of a big deal...
Allow me to offer the film’s back-story before I launch into dissecting it:
In the movie, Adam Sandler’s sweet and quirky character falls for an equally adorable Drew Barrymore, who’s character is afflicted with permanent short-term memory loss. (The whole situation is a bit less tragic couched in a Comedy). Every 24 hours, her memory sort of “re-sets” itself so that she can’t recall anything after the accident that caused her condition (including the accident itself) several years before. To make life easier for this naturally cheerful girl, her friends and family create a world that actually caters to her amnesia. Day in and day out, they keep up the rouse that it is the day before her accident--all in attempts to avoid her discovering the heartbreak of her past and what it has done to her.
One morning, while enjoying breakfast at her usual diner, in walks Jesus--conveniently disguised as Adam Sandler :) From that first meeting, he is taken with amnesia girl. Although obviously adoring her, as he learns of her condition, he is careful to be sensitive and slow in his pursuit of her. Still, she is freaked out. She claims she doesn’t know him (even when days of friendship turn to months), and thus, is unwilling to trust him. Yet he is determined not only to continue pursuing her, but to pull her free of the delusion that nothing is wrong with her. Despite her family being genuinely convinced that the lies they tell her are for her own good, he takes the risk and discloses the truth of her condition.
Once the initial rush of heartbreak, anger and denial pass, his challenge is to find a way to continually remind her of the truth. Given that Adam Sandler is the Christ-type character here, he (of course) is able to think up a clever solution to keep her remembering him. (So, if I haven’t already given away the entire plot to those who haven‘t seen the film, I’m about to completely spoil it. Its worth it if you’ve made it this far--just be warned!). Each morning he leaves a note for amnesia girl beside her bed, instructing her before she begins her day to watch a home movie he has made specifically for her. The movie is a pictoral reminder of her past, including the accident that caused her to forget everything. (Pan to the girl’s frightened and confused face as the truth of her situation sinks in anew every day). Fortunately, the music gets lighter and the mood happier, when in the same home movie, she is “introduced” to the man who loves her. He goes on to recount a few precious moments of their love story thus far, and reassures her that each day when she wakes up, he will be there.
Ever so charming, Adam Sandler’s character demonstrates the seemingly elusive virtues of kindness, gentleness and patience. Although I certainly get caught up in the cuteness of the whole ordeal, the more I think about it, the more I am shocked at this man‘s love. Can you imagine having a lover who constantly forgets you? Not just someone who fails to pay attention, but one who flat out forgets you exist? To know that the most intimate of moments that you shared together--your treasured memories--mean absolutely nothing to your lover because they don’t even know they occurred. Who would choose to spend their time loving someone like that? Most of us, despite all the romantic feeling in the world, would quickly give up.
Yet, I know firsthand about this kind of love. Not because I expressed it, but because it was given to me. It took me 28 years to realize (or at least admit) that I am amnesia girl.
Without fail, I forget. I repeat the same old mistakes, forgetting the consequences and unhappy events that their existence triggered. I continue to stress out about God’s ability to provide, not taking time to “consider the birds” and my Lover’s far deeper passion for me in comparison to them. Sadly, both situations have occurred within the last 48 hours. With perspective lost, I acted with no memory of the past, for good or bad…
Yesterday, I made a bad decision. Not life-shattering, just a mistake. I knew exactly what I was doing and didn’t think it was “that big of a deal.” Yet, as I followed through on that poor choice, the realization of what I had done immediately smacked me in the face. It was as if in that moment, a haze had lifted and my eyes could clearly see that I received the spitting image result of the very same foolish decision I had made years ago. I literally gasped. How could I have forgotten that? But I did. I was in rationalization mode (which, incidentally, obscures all peripheral vision and hindsight). I could only see what I wanted to see and I forgot everything else. At this revelation, the words poured out of my mouth almost without thought: “God, please help me to remember!”
And I had to remind myself that He heard me. He was listening, because He does care about moments like that. Because He longs for my greatest good. I know this because after repenting of the aforementioned fault, the first thing God did was graciously hand me back a beautiful memory. I didn't deserve it, but He knew that this clear vision was just the remedy I needed...
About a month ago, my family and I were passing through a stressful season. Tensions in our house were high, not so much stemming from each other, but from the collection of worries each of us was holding inside. For a week, we tip-toed on the egg shells of fragile emotions, not even realizing what was happening. It was my sister’s insight when we were driving home one night that led me to see things for what they really were. Upon recognizing our own worry, my family and I, as we’ve become accustomed to doing over the years in times of crisis, stood in the middle of our living room, held hands and cried out to God. The very next day, our overarching fear--the primary subject of our prayers--was answered. Unexpectedly and beautifully. It really was an amazing story. From small groups to Skype calls, I shared this testimony with everyone I could for a week afterwards. That day we saw it clearly: God was good.
A mere few weeks later, it was as though that moment had never happened. Fast forward to this weekend. Another issue arises, bringing with it that familiar tension and confusion. We longed for some perspective, but by-passed the obvious solution day after day. Instead, anxiety became the elephant in the room, as we wondered where God was and why things were happening the way they were. "Spiritual amnesia" (props to Francis Chan for that phrase) had struck with full force. Sure, we had each been seeking God during our individual time with Him, but corporately, we hadn’t seen any significant breakthrough since the last time we fought as a family.
So we did. We surrendered our struggles to the Lord and repented for not seeking Him before. I cried, telling God through tears that I was so sorry for forgetting Him. No amount of logical list-making or determined effort could pull us out of the rut we were in. Only God could transform us and our situation. I just wish I had remembered that sooner.
“Don’t worry about your life,” Jesus tells us over and over in the Gospels. It seems patronizing, but we so desperately need to hear those words. I know I’m not alone in this spiritual amnesia thing. I see it in my friends, my family and those I counsel. The Bible puts it so eloquently as to liken us to dogs returning to their vomit. In my experience, vomit doesn’t “just happen.” It starts because we took in something that was making us sick, and our bodies are deliberately designed so as to rid us of things that will poison us. Our sin, selfishness and screw ups--those are the vomit of life. Do we really need to go back there? Do you really want to smell that again? You can blame the boomerang effect on curiosity, boredom or simple stupidity. But the way I see it, it’s usually about forgetting. Don’t get me wrong: I take personal responsibility for my own decisions. In fact, I know that I am often the primary contributor to my amnesia. Much like Drew Barrymore, my memory of the greater story only lasts a short while. I know exactly where I need to go to hear this story, but sometimes, I fail to show up. Strolling past the note and the home movie in the VCR, I go about my day under the delusion that I understand my life better than the One who loves me most. When confusion strikes due to my skewed perspective, He doesn’t just scold me with an “I told you so.” When I go home, He gently pulls me back to the TV, reminding me of our story and showing me what is real.
I don’t claim to know the origin of our spiritual amnesia, whether it’s simply the result of sin, or if God designed it that way so as we constantly need to go back to Him for memory. What I do know is that while I remember, I will choose to dwell on His character. To remind myself that nothing escapes His notice and that nothing is beyond His ability to redeem.
When I consider God’s rescue of me in such a state of forgetfulness, I can’t help but smile. I begin to recall times when God, in far-cooler-than-Adam Sandler fashion, tells me the tale of us. He quietly points out the parts I never even perceived, and the behind the scenes workings I couldn‘t have possibly known about otherwise. Even more amazingly, in God’s home video, my past falls into the shadows under the light of His undeserving adoration. He loves me, even though I forget Him. Enduringly patient, He faithfully re-counts the story to me again and again.
Today, I can see just how incredible that is. And I know that if I choose to play it, that same video will be waiting to remind me again tomorrow…
Girl,this is my favorite post of yours so far. Precious precious. Beautiful story of God's love.
ReplyDeleteOne time I was crying about the dementia and memory loss of my patients. I didn't see any way they could reach out and find God in their last moments on earth when they couldn't even remember their family members! A friend encouraged me as I was crying, by saying, ” Even though they don't remember God, God remembers them.”