The Sacramento Story

"...Has [God] ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?"  Numbers 23:19 

Perhaps my coolest "faith stories" post-mission field came from my transition back to life in the States.  When the decision was made not to return to Australia, the easiest and most convienent option would have been to start over in my current city (Tulsa, at that time). After five years of living in T-Town, the idea of transitioning back to Tulsa very much lacked appeal. Meanwhile, I had this inexplicable stirring/desire to uproot and replant myself on the West Coast, sensing specifically that something new was waiting for me in California. Yet, after two months of job searching from a distance (to no avail), I felt it was time to take some drastic measures...

Hours invested in praying, seeking counsel and collecting confirming words, slowly morphed into a faith-filled decision. I would simply up and move to the place I wanted to be...and trust God for the rest.

Yes, I'm a little crazy... ;)

Here is my "Sacramento Story," as told to my friends in a letter at the beginning of this year...

When you last heard from Miss Jennifer, she was about to board a plane, stepping out in faith to move to the incredibly random city of Sacramento, California. With no job, not so much money and only a handful of friends in the vicinity, she was all too aware just how big of a risk it was for her to move there.So many questions plagued her: Would she find a place to live (a bit more permanent than merely couch surfing)? Would she find a strong, missionally-focused home church? Would she make friends? Would she find a job? ... (Insert dramatic, cliff-hanger music here)

No need to anticipate the outcome, friends! I am here to very happily report that that transition has most definitely been worth the risk! Having journeyed here by faith, I am completely floored by God's faithfulness over the last three months. Because now, at the start of 2012, the answer to all those "Would she...?" questions is a resounding YES! In fact, since being here in California, not only have I received the fruit of those prayers...I've received far more than I could have ever imagined... :)

On October 9th, I touched down in Sacramento and was greeted at the airport by a family whom I'd never even met (this is sooo YWAM...). Jeff and Heather are an incredible couple who humbly consider it their ministry to open their home to strangers. With their own children having grown up and moved out, for the last several years, the Burton's have used the extra rooms in their house to house guests, exchange students...and now, missionaries-in-transition ;) Within a mere 30 minutes of our initial meeting, the Burton's looked me in the eyes and genuinely told me to consider their house, my home...indefinitely! No rush to search for a place, they said. They would support me (room/board) until I got on my feet. (What??? I JUST met these people! Apparently things like this really DO happen! Thank you, Jesus!!!).

So, here I am, an adopted member of the Burton family, evidenced by my presence at the Thanksgiving dinner table and being counted in on the gift exchange at Christmas. What an amazing blessing not only to receive such hospitality and generosity, but to be considered family. There are no words to describe how beautiful this is!

Place to stay? Check. Now, of course, comes the church! As the Burton's and one of my original Sacramento friends both went to First Covenant...a large and influential ministry here in this city...I started attending by default. Very quickly, however, I came to love this fun, dynamic church and considered it my home. Never one to sit still or be shy, I jumped right in to church life at First Cov through volunteering with three major outreaches, attending an Equipping (discipleship) class, joining the young adults fellowship and joining a small group! In doing so, you can imagine that not only have I kept busy and engaged in some incredible ministry, but I've also made wonderful friends! Truly, I am so humbled and blessed by just how many genuine, close friendships I've developed with other singles in their 20's/30's, in only the last three months!

Oh, and speaking of church...as of yesterday, I am now the newest full-time staff member at First Cov! That's right: After 4 months of job-searching, over a dozen interviews and 72 (yes, I counted!) jobs applied for (just in Sacramento alone--that doesn't even include the dozens of jobs I applied for while in Tulsa), I finally got my dream job in the States! I am now hired on as the full-time Assistant for Worship, Outreach and Events (Could that be any more perfect???). What a testimony!!! After months and months of applying for dozens of different kinds of positions (most of which, frankly, I found difficult to muster up enthusiasm for), the Lord finally opened the door for me to work full-time in the exact areas of ministry I'm so passionate about...all within a church I love! All of my disappointment, waiting and questioning (the frustrated lament "Why can't I find a job, God???" came about every other week, often accompanied by tears and anxiety, I humbly confess) faded away as this opportunity was quite literally handed to me less than two weeks ago.

In December, two separate friends had prayed that instead of having to search out new job opportunities (as I had been doing for months), that God would prompt someone would approach ME about a job. As wonderful as that prayer was, I have to admit that I was a little skeptical...I thought it a bit too idealistic (Does that actually ever happen?). Hahahaha...despite my own doubts, that's exactly what happened! In talking with one of the pastors of our church, the subject of strengths/spiritual gifts came up...as did my lack of a job. Twenty minutes later, I left our meeting with an "Application for Employment" form in my hands. Eleven days later, I got welcomed onto the First Cov team.

I'm astounded by God's continual surprises...

To be honest, some days it was hard to view my transition back to the States in a positive light--to truly see America as a mission field. Yet, over the last several months, God keeps opening new doors that confirm that my life in California really IS a continuation of my life as a missionary. Every day, I am watching Him do deeply significant works in the lives of countless friends, family and even strangers, here in Sacramento. I am humbled to witness such wonderful ministry... and all without a passport ;)

God has always been so faithful to provide much more than I could ever ask or imagine. And I know His faithfulness will only continue to bless and surprise me in this next season.

Treasure Hunting and Gift Giving (Part Two)

"But Moses pleaded with the Lord, 'O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.'  

Then the Lord asked Moses, 'Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord?  Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.'”

-Exodus 4:10-12

 Obedience, I've found, is rarely comfortable.


"I'm a discipler, not an evangelist," I would try to reason with God when He asked me to go pray for/witness to/prophecy over a stranger. Although I love to speak, I can't deny that I like doing it on my own terms, with plenty of advance notice and preparation. Despite my stories from the last post, this whole spontaneous witnessing thing is definitely not easy for me...


I have to laugh at myself right now as I consider my silly little "It's not my gift" declaration. People are people and I'm certainly not the first to conjure excuses and attempt to scheme my way out of the things I know I need to do. When confronted with God's call, Jeremiah pointed to his youth and his lack of public speaking experience. Even Moses, a man who grew up as part of the royal family in the household of Pharaoh, felt that he lacked the authority to lead God's people out of Egypt. Isn't it so funny how our perception can get so messed up? Even me--the Sanguine, the Communicator, the Missionary--wrestles with the idea of going out on the street to speak the Truth in spontaneous obedience as necessary. Crazy how I could have all the "right" externals intact, yet the enemy would still tempt me time and again with apprehension over my abilities and what I really have to offer.


But the fact is, I have MUCH to offer. Not because of my degree (God used the uneducated and "common" Peter and John to speak with bold authority in Acts 4)  or my ability to connect with people, but because the Spirit of God is inside me. And, as we see over and over in the New Testament, the Spirit not only empowers believers to speak boldly, giving them the exact words to speak in the exact moment they need them (Luke 12:12), but the Spirit always testifies to Christ. And Christ is THE way, the Truth and the life--He is the greatest thing anyone can receive from us. So, with His Spirit inside me--guiding me and speaking through me--me and my abilities are suddenly inconsequential. What matters is God's power moving through me...and whether or not I choose to let it.


While I'm a huge advocate of discovering and stewarding your spiritual gifts (i.e. investing into ministry that primarily utilizes your specific strengths and passions), God's spontaneous leading trumps even those. A few years ago, a friend shared a powerful revelation on this topic that changed everything for me. Your spiritual gifts, she said simply, are not for YOU! Gifts are given as the Spirit determines them...for the sake of others. Think about it: I don't have the gift of exhortation in order to encourage myself. I don't have the gift of teaching to impart lessons to myself. God blessed me with those gifts in order to uplift and share His revelation with other people--encouraging fellow believers and ushering in future ones. But because it is the Spirit that determines the gifts (not me), I can't claim that just because he has used me in the past as a vessel to pass along certain ones, that he can't up and decide to give me a new one at the drop of the hat. After all, if I'm at a Starbucks and I "just so happen" to be sitting next to someone on the verge of suicide, at that moment, it really doesn't matter whether or not I have the gift of evangelism. Knowing that person needs to hear a message of hope, God can most certainly give a word of knowledge (1 Cor 12:8) to you (an obedient believer) in that moment. It matters little whether or not you have exercised that particular gift before. It's about the need, not your particular gifting. And if God wants you to say/do something, he will give you the opportunity and the words to speak. Remember that every good and perfect gift comes from Him anyway (James 1:17).


That's ridiculously convicting, because it leaves all my excuses in the dust. If I've submitted myself to following the Lord; if I have truly died to myself, I will not question God's call. I will choose to be obedient--no matter what it looks like; no matter how scary it seems.


I must pause here to point out, however, that God rewards obedience. Despite the fear, the awkwardness and the risk at the start, something amazing almost always happens as a result. As the Lord has put people in my path to speak to, He has revealed His faithfulness by opening their hearts and allowing me to witness their receptiveness to His grace. And what a privilege it is to watch someone find (or get one step closer to) God! These moments are amazing not merely for their "cool story" factor, but far more for the faith they build in the one being witnessed to ("God cares about me so much to send a stranger to come and speak to me?"), the obedient believer themselves, and all those who hear the testimony afterwards.


We must be obedient and ready to share at any moment the Lord would ask us to (2 Tim 4:2)...and be faithful to share the testimonies of God's incredible power at work through us. After all, faith comes by hearing, so we'd better share those stories!

"No one lights a lamp and then covers it...No, you set it up on a lamp stand so those who enter the room can see their way. We're not keeping secrets; we're telling them. We're not hiding things; we're bringing everything out into the open. So be careful that you don't become misers of what you hear. Generosity begets generosity. Stinginess impoverishes."

-Luke 8:16-18

What's the sense in keeping your mouth shut? Gifts were meant to be given away...

Treasure Hunting and Gift Giving

"Have you ever...?"


That's my favorite question to be asked. The answer is almost always: "Yes."


Over my twenties, I unintentionally become a pro at collecting random experiences and unique stories. Two years ago, someone could have asked me: "Have you ever...?" and I would have immediately jumped out of my chair (in the group game of the same name) and retorted with all honesty: "Yeah, last week!"


Whether it was running alongside kangaroos in the bush, portraying a wicked stepmother in a 48-Hour film festival entry or waking up at 3am to watch the sunrise over a Wonder of the World (I've done this a few times...), I always had a story to tell. While I, of course, can still tell all those stories, most are not as "fresh" as I want them to be. Especially my crazy/random "everyday life" ministry stories...


Since being back on home turf in the US, I've found myself lacking the lifestyle of spontaneous prophecy and evangelism that was once so normal. In the past few weeks, though, I have been re-inspired to live in the courageous and less than comfortable way that I used to when I was on staff with YWAM. Living and working as a missionary (with a job that, by it's very nature, kept me focused daily on "Making God Known" to anyone with whom I came into contact), I often took this kind of "radical" lifestyle for granted.


I didn't realize just how much I took it for granted, however, until I wasn't doing it anymore.


Two weeks ago, I sat in the front row of a young adults group and listened to an average guy (not a pastor) in his mid-twenties share some incredible stories from his recent experience with "treasure hunting." If you're unfamiliar with the phrase, "treasure hunting" can most simply be defined as intentionally praying for a picture/vision of a person that God can use you to encourage/pray for. Additionally, you can pray and ask God if He has some sort of specific word that that person needs to hear (i.e. He has a plan and purpose for the difficult time they are going through at the moment) or an issue they need prayer for (i.e. Anxiety about a test, finding a job, healing for their family). Once this information is received (waiting in prayer, sensing leading from God), the treasure hunt begins! Just like the name implies, once you are given your "clues," the search is on for your treasure...a random stranger whom God loves and wants to use you to bless and uplift.


So, this particular guy at church had an amazing experience with treasure hunting just the weekend before. He had gotten three different pictures (really, they were just descriptors of specific people, like "Tall, blonde girl wearing a purple shirt") and specific messages for each of them. As you can imagine, this is not an easy or comfortable task by any means--walking up to total strangers, saying that you have a message from God for them. Lol! While you obviously try to say it in a less tacky/strange way than that, the majority of people you talk to are actually quite open to at least hearing what you have to say. This average Joe at young adults group had three different pictures and came back with three amazing testimonies--conversations that lasted for hours, tearful confessions and powerful prayer times. All with complete strangers in the mall, a restaurant and Starbucks. All generated out of pure and simple obedience, armed with the courage to step out in faith.


Last Sunday, when I re-counted that story to a friend, he turned and asked me that all-too-familiar "Have you ever...?" question. Had I ever done a treasure hunt? "Yes!" I told him "I actually used to do them a lot when I was working with YWAM."


While I wish I could just sit down and tell you all these stories in detail, here are just a few snippets of awesome experiences God set up (my personal experiences "treasure hunting" with random strangers)...


-Reading Psalms out loud across from a nightclub in Byron Bay, Australia with a few guys and a girl (one guy later asked for his own Bible and to take some to give to other people)


-Praying for a woman in a public bathroom in Brisbane who was struggling with intense anxiety after a frightening experience the night before


-Praying for a woman in Subway who was struggling with a custody battle for her son


-Sharing my testimony and methods for studying the Bible with my mechanic


-Sharing scriptures and prophecy with a woman working at an ice cream shop


-Giving a rose to a street vendor in Russia and telling her (through a translator) that God wanted her to know that He loved her


I've preached on the street in a festival in Thailand (with a sound system, through a translator). I've led worship on beaches and public parks in Australia. I've read Psalms aloud in city squares in Peru.


The funny thing about this little list is that I don't consider myself an evangelist. At all. Despite a communication degree, spiritual gifts of teaching and prophecy, and just a plain ole' love for people, I have always struggled with the concept of just going up to random strangers and generating a spiritual conversation out of thin air. Seriously, I don't get excited at all at the prospect of putting myself out there to be potentially rejected or made fun of because I choose to share my faith in such a bold way. To be honest, when I sense a leading from the Lord to speak something, I've often been shut up by own shyness and stubbornness. Truth is, I have forsaken several opportunities out of cowardice and prospective awkwardness. Many times, I have failed to speak because of fear.


"I'm just not that type of person," was always my excuse.


Apparently, God would have none of that...




(To Be Continued)

Let Faith Arise Again

The most significant, most prevailing lesson of my life has been faith. You would think that knowing that I serve an all-powerful, unchanging and unfailing God would keep me worry-free and consistently confident. Unfortunately, this is not so. My weary flesh is easily worried and constantly forgetful. Far more often than I'd like, I fall prey to "spiritual amnesia" (as Francis Chan calls it)--a temporary forgetfulness of the Lord's enduring faithfulness.

To make matters worse, my forgetfulness is completely unfounded. Because God has ALWAYS come through. There is simply not a time where God has let me down or failed to provide. Granted, sometimes the Lord provided in very different ways than I expected. Yet, even in those times, His provision (and subsequent changes in circumstances or the direction of my life) turned out to be something far GREATER than I expected.

The fact is, God has never failed to show up. His timing is perfect. His favour is unmeritted. His power is astounding. And I have to remind myself of that. Especially on days like today...

Today marks 6-months of my new life in California. What a tale it is of how I found myself here in Sacramento--flying out here completely on faith, with only small glimpses of God's potential plan for me in this season. Since arriving here, I've been amazingly surprised and overwhelmed by the Lord's faithfulness of provision. He has made it abundantly clear that He has placed me here for a purpose. Yet now, dragging through a string of relational and financial dissapointments over the last two months, I know I must be intentional about ridding myself of this pesky amnesia problem.

I will not let myself forget God's faithfulness...

I am writing this blog to remind myself (and others) that just because I don't know what the Lord is up to doesn't mean He isn't working. I am writing to remind myself that my God will supply all my needs. I am writing to remind myself that joy comes in the morning.

Jogging my memory is key to stirring up my faith. Daily I am digging into the Word to be reminded of the Truth, yet I also have the beautiful benefit of drawing on an incredible amount of amazing faith stories. Here on this blog, I will share them. To inspire you, but also remind myself. We don't just "have faith" in God. As followers of Jesus, we are called to live our lives in such a way that we are daily dependent on Him for our needs.

I always told myself when I was on the mission field that I wanted to continue to live like a missionary even when I came back to America. Not only in the sense of being "mission minded" to be intentional about helping those around me, but depending on Him for everything. "Living by faith" even with a paycheck...

And this is exactly what He is teaching me. Over the last two months, every day is new. I don't know what to expect. Plans are changing. Circumstances are shifting. God is up to something, but it's not exactly clear what that is quite yet.

But today, I am standing on faith. It is the evidence of all that I have yet to see...

"Faith" by Jason Upton

Let faith arise, oh Lord, let faith arise
In the deepest parts of my being, oh Lord
In the most broken parts of me, oh Lord
Friends have failed me Lord, let my faith arise
Loved ones have failed me Lord, let my faith arise
Heroes have failed me Lord, let my faith arise
Let my faith arise
Let my faith arise
Let my faith arise
Let my faith arise
I say NO to the discouragement that keeps me down
I say NO to the things that keep me back from You
And this broken heart inside of me
Broken in so many pieces
By so many circumstances
I say NO to just letting it stay that way
Because I'm learning to trust that it's not You that hurt me
I'm learning to believe that it's not You that deserted meI'm believing that You still love me
Brokenness and all
I'm believing that You've got a plan for me
I'm believing that You will restore meI believe that You will awaken my soul
And let, let faith arise again, I believe
I believe like a little child again
I'm gonna dance in my trust in You, oh Lord
I'm gonna dance in my love for You, oh Lord
I'm gonna laugh again
I'm gonna cry again
I'm gonna have joy, joy on the inside
Circumstances around me try to pull me down
I'm going to believe in that faith again
Cause You're my Creator
You're my Comfort
You're the One that will never desert me

So Daddy, I raise my hands up to You Lord
I raise my hands up to You, oh Lord
And I dance with my feet, I dance with my feet
And I say, come and, come and hold me Lord
Cause I'm learning to trust You with the faith of a child
Trust You with the faith of a child
I can have joy again like a child
I'm not going to let it come down
I'm not going to let those bullets come down
Come down and hurt me no more
Cause I'm raising up the Shield of Faith
And the Sword of the Lord
I'm believing on your Word Lord
I'm trusting in the Word that You said
And I'm waiting on YouWaiting on You
And I'm rejoicing in the fact that the Bible says
That You are my Victorious Warrior
You're the one that fights for me
I don't have to fight anymoreYou're the one that fights for me, oh Lord
My faith is rising, my faith is rising, my faith is rising
I can see You again Lord.
I can see You on the horizon of my life, oh Lord
I can see Your Son, it's rising up, it's rising up, it's rising up
And I don't have to be discouraged anymore
And I don't have to fight this loneliness anymore
Cause You're in my life, You?re in my life more than anyone can ever be
Father we're building a relationship again, just me and You
We're building a relationship again, just me and You
It's not about the job I have
It's not about the friends I have
It's not about the house I have or the social status I have
It's about me and You
We're building a relationship again, just me and You